Power of Positive Thinking for Bringing Renewal into Mid-life Concerns
Everything great that has ever happened to humanity since the beginning, as begun as a single thought in someone's mind, and if anyone of us as the capacity, than anyone as the same capacity because we are all the same.
Yanni(Greek-American composer) DEPICTING THOSE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Thought management - also identified as cognitive therapy is our second vital leading approach for instigating renewal into your mid-life concerns. In our last encounter we mentionned about the vital necessity of stress management. For more information click on this link:
The purpose of cognitive therapy depicts those distortions and teaches you how to look at life in a more objective and realistic view.
Thoughts trigger stress creating negative emotions paralysing the ability for positive behaviour, decisions and attitudes. Negative thoughts (also identified as distortions)and emotions are responsible for our anxiety,depression and low self-esteem – delaying this way the renewal outcome we wish to instigate.
Learning to restructure thoughts instigates inner peace; you learn to train your imagination to positively visualize your future.
``Notice how much of your inner speech focuses on what’s missing, the negative circumstances the past, and the opinions of others. The more cognizant you become of your inner speech, the sooner you’ll be able to shift right in the midst of those habitual inner proceedings, from a thought of I resent what’s missing, to I intend to attract what I want and stop thinking about what I dislike.`` The Power of Intention by Dr Wayne Dyer
Based on beliefs developed from early childhood and on there are things we tell ourself when confronted with concerns. Some of yours might be similar to the following:I’m never going to be a success.No one will ever love me; no one cares about me.There’s something wrong with me: I can’t seem to do anything right!People are manipulative!Men always leave me in the end.The world is dangerous and unpredictable.
Instigating renewal into these thoughts is challenging…these opinions - not truths create unhealthy attitudes that work against you as you doubt about:how loveable you are and…how capable you are.
A Greek Stoic Philosopher under the name of Epictetus used to say that``man is distressed, not by events, but by his view of these events.``
Here’s an analogy inspired from Remez Sasson’s article entitled: ‘’The Power of Positive Thinking’ found on his website entitled: >www.mentalhealth.com/comg/mag1/p51str.html#Head_1h
I adapt it for this context.
You applied for a job position; you’re called for an interview. Your self-esteem is low; you consider yourself a failure and unworthy of success. You’re sure you’re not getting the job. On the day of the interview, you get up late; you find out that the clothes you want to wear is dirty and wrinkled. You got up late, therefore did not have time to eat breakfast. During the interview you’re tensed.
Picture this same scenario experimented by an individual practicing positive thinking.
You’re sure you will get the job. During the week preceding the interview you often visualize yourself making a good impression and getting the job. The evening before the interview, you prepare your clothes, you go to bed early. The next morning you wake up earlier than usual, you have ample time to e4at breakfast, to arrive for the interview before the scheduled time.
Are you the master of your thoughts or the victim? Does your thoughtsmake you feel hopeless?overwhelm you?make you feel helpless?label you?under evaluate your rewards?test your inabilities?
A life incident can instigate disappointment or sadness…naturally…this is part of life. Out of panic and anxiety you visualize this same everyday incident as a sign that your future is doomed, no doubt, you’re experimenting a cognitive distortion - you are catastrophizing. You may recognize these negative thoughts under other various forms. You might even recognize some of your own in the following enumeration?
(For more information about these cognitive distortions read the books: Complete Idiot’s Guide to: Controlling Anxiety by Joni E. Johnston, PSY and Take Control of Your Life – A complete Guide to Stress Relief by Sharon Faelton, David Diamond & the Editors of Prevention.)
Catastrophizing – happens when we turn a molehill into a mountain. It impacts you physically; this chronic over-reaction grossly overworks your heart and arteries.
Dichotomous reasoning – seeing everything as black or white. You’re either a success or a failure, and one mistake means you’re a failure. We need to remember that we all make mistakes.
Disqualifying the positive – happens when you ignore the good feedback you get.
Emotional Reasoning – what you feel must really reflect reality. You feel like an idiot, so you must really be one. But we all feel like this on occasion, and we can’t all be idiots.
Fortune telling – happens when you act as if your worst fears will certainly come true. You’re not worried that the worst might happen; you’re sure that it will.
Labelling – occurs when we give a global label to ourself. I’m a failure rather than seeing something as a single event. (I blew that one, but I’ll do better next time.)
Mind Reading – assuming that others are reacting negatively to us – even when we have no evidence.
Minimization – You don’t give yourself credit for good qualities or accomplishments. You tell others about your faults but can’t tell them anything good about yourself.
Overgeneralization – taking everything personally and ignoring other factors. She didn’t smile; she must hate me!
Selective abstraction – You focus on one part rather than the whole.
``Should`` and ``Have to`` statements - Are when we tell ourselves that things should be the way we hoped or expected them to be rather than accepting what is.
Awfulizing – Using expressions such as: ``O God this is awful`` on constant basis./p>
Ruminating – your life’s failures keep popping up in your mind.
Our beliefs can be the triggers of our stress. Our assumptions about life – (those opinions that we interpretate as facts or truths-of-life) are often conflicting sources of concerns. Whether these thoughts are in relationship with our self as an individual or in relationship with others, the outcome is behavioural stress. These negative thoughts can be elements of our principles of life or our values, our rigid code of conduct - imposed on our self and on others. When confronted, they trigger frustrations.
Our analogical example illustrates this matter very clearly. Another example could be the conflicting situations that arise because of our different working approaches or attitudes.
In a transitional mid-life phase, you experiment major changes in life…whether physical or psychological whether the changes are social or professional, if impacts your life …the power of positive thinking comes to the rescue.
THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING
``Thoughts are mental behaviours that we can learn to control.``
‘’Whatever the mind expects, it finds!’’says Remez Sasson. According to this same author, ``mind power is the second strongest power next to the spirit…as your thoughts are, so is your life. They are like a video cassette that is played in the VCR of the mind. You have to be careful of what you think…what you think is what you live.``
‘’A positive mind will anticipate happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action in life.’’ The reason for this, according to Remez Sasson, is that ’’thoughts pass to your subconscious mind, which in turn influences your actions in accordance with these thoughts. Your thoughts pass to other minds, says Sasson, and consequently people who are in a position to help, give you their help, sometimes even knowing why. The power of your mind is part of the creative power of the Universe``.
William Walker Atkinson, in his book ``Practical Mental Influence and Mental Fascination`` states:
``When a thought or a feeling is generated in the mind of the brain of a person, the energy generated flows forth from the brain of the person in the forms of waves of mental energy, spreading from the immediate neighbourhood of the thinker to a distance proportioned to the strength of the thought or feeling. The thought waves have the property of awakening similar vibrations in the minds of other persons coming within heir field of force.``
THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING IN MID-LIFE
As a reader concerned about mid-life transitional concerns, the power of positive thinking is, like stress management, a vital therapeutic approach to any mid-life related concerns. The world is constantly in a state of re-creation – it first saw the light from a thought. All invention has been the fruit of an idea in mind – put to action. Instigating renewal into your mid-life concerns begins in your mind and in your soul. The outcome depends upon its inner content. Why do so many people succeed while others fail? Why are so many people happy while others live a life of despair?
As you learn to depict those thoughts and their influential impact over your life, as you learn to instigate positive ideas and feelings into your mind and soul, progressively you will see a change in your life.
I mentioned how the book The Power of Intention – Creating Your World Your Way from Dr. Wayne Dyer had a positive impact in my mid-life depressive phase of life.
Obsessed by negative thoughts and feelings, this book was given to me by a friend. Among all chapters, the last chapter of this book awakened my attention and inspired hope for my future - inspiring me to work on this mid-life project. This chapter is the summary illustrating the portrait of the person in connection or in harmony with the field of intention. The whole attitude of this individual inspires positive thoughts and feelings. Let me quote some of the inspiring attitudes:
Exercise to correct negative thoughts:
To check out whether your ideas are valid and useful: Write down your automatic thoughts about what happened Pay attention to your feelings (whether it's hurt, deception, anger, discouragement) Don't rationalise them just "throw them out on paper".
Questions: Is this idea true? What kind of a cognitive error might I be making? Is this idea useful? What feelings and behaviors does it generate in me ? Is this idea typical of the way I think? Do I need more information about the situation. Where can I get it?
``…they have made themselves available for success. It’s impossible to get them to be pessimistic about achieving what they desire in their lives… Their thoughts are positive…I intend to create this and I know it will work out…and nothing dissuades them… I refuse to think about what can’t happen, because I’ll attract exactly what I think about…They don’t waste energy arguing…they are always in a state of gratitude, of appreciation…you’re unlikely to hear them complain about anything. They appreciate life…`
HOW DOES THOUGHT MANAGEMENT WORK? (FROM REMEZ SASSON)
Attitude and thoughts do not change overnight! For years, it has been shaping our life. Our subconscious as been bombarded with so many thoughts and circumstantial influences…it can almost be like teaching an old dog… new tricks…! But, in opposition to the old doge, training your mind’s way of thinking is feasible. Here are some practical instructions:Visualize only favourable and beneficial situations. Use positive words in your dialogue or when talking to others.Smile a little more…it helps to think positively.Disregard any feelings of laziness or desire to quit.Read at least one page of inspiring book every day.Watch movies that make you feel happy.Minimize time you spend listening to the news and read the papers.Associate yourself with people who think positively.
Engage in some physical activities. (Swimming…)Always sit and walk with your back straight. It will strengthen your confidence and inner strength.
Once a negative thought enters your mind, be aware of it and replace it with a constructive one. Persevere…If you feel resistance, don’t give up, and keep looking at the beneficial, good and happy thought in your mind.
No matter the circumstances of the present moment, think positively, expect only favourable results and situations, and circumstances will change accordingly. It may take some time for the changes to take place, but eventually they do.
WHY IS POSITIVE THINKING NECESSARY?
Besides inner peace, positive thinking improves relationships, health and brings success and satisfaction. Positive thinking helps daily affairs to move more smoothly making life look promising and brighter.
Positive thinking is also contagious. People around you will be attracted to you, willing to help you…because of the positive vibration you will emit.
To bring result you must develop a positive attitude towards life and expect successful outcome of whatever you do. Remember the job search analogy as an example of inspiration. It will move you into taking the necessary actions to ensure that success.
Positive thinking is much more than just repeating a few positive words, says Sasson, it has to become your predominant mental attitude. You cannot think positively for a moment, than letting fears and lack of belief enter your mind again. You must be willing to make that change.
Power of Positive thinking and imagination
Imagination, according to Sasson, is the ability to form a mental image of something that is not perceived through the senses.(mental scenes, objects or events that don’t exist, are not present or have happened in the past.)Imagination includes the five senses and the feelings: a sound, taste, smell, physical sensation…
A developed imagination strengthens your creative abilities and is a great tool for recreating and remodelling your world and life. It can make your heart’s desires come true.
Imagination is necessary for inventing …What we imagine with faith and feelings comes into being. It is the power beyond creative visualization.
This is where the positive thinking in our desires is important as we create and attract into our life whatever we want or don’t want and it could be responsible for attracting the suffering, incompetence, difficulties and unhappiness we so often experience. When you think negatively about your performances or your future, your imagination will vision the negative and you will produce what you think and expect.
Developing the imagination
Find some free time during the day, every day. (15 minutes) Visualize something simple that you can believe you can get. (something you would like to do)
Visualize your desire clearly (include in the visualization all the five senses)
Practice this same exercise every day. Don’t replace the imagination with words. The aim is to use the imagination, not the words.
You may be surprised to discover that what you see in your mind, in your inner vision, comes true in real life.
The following analogy forwarded to me in an email, a few months ago is an inspiration that summarizes our encounter and speaks for itself. The title of this email is: Choose your Attitude; may it be an inspiration for you as well.
Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say: When someone would ask him how he was doing, He would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how they could look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, 'You have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Michael, said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. Your bottom line: "It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Michael said.
Soon after, I left the company to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well being of my soon to be born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live." "Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
Michael continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.’Yes,'I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled... "Gravity." Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."
Take Control of Your Life – A complete Guide to Stress Relief by Sharon Faelton, David Diamond & the Editors of Prevention.)
Practical Mental Influence and Mental Fascination by William Walker Atkinson
The Power of Intention – Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Copyright © 2004 by Wayne W. Dyer
Complete Idiot’s Guide to: Controlling Anxiety by Joni E. Johnston, PSY
Take Control of Your Life...The Center for Discovery… inspires and empowers women to discover their highest potential, using proven principles and practices of mind, body, and spiritual development.